well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
