Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
