Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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