Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
