That's when you crack a 10am beer
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
