I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
