Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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