I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
