I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
sex in a hospital.. check
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
