I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize