just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
