my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
