He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
