Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
