Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
