Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Sorry about my life...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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