I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
