um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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