Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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