he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
