some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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