Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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