I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
