Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
