OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
