why didn't you poke me back
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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