On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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