ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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