my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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