I'm lost and stupid without you.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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