My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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