She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
