I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
