Me too!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
