we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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