He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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