I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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