i just had sex bonerless
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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