singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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