her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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