hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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