Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
