Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
