I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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