the new term for farting is butt boxing.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
