so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
