Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
