Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She needs sedatives and a leash
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
