someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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