I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
