Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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