The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
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