Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
