A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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