My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
