I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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