he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
