Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
