i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
