im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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