it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
