bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
