So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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