RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
